Wait until the morning after
“Instead of talking about sex while you’re in the middle of it, talk about it the morning after, when you’re still feeling that connection and after-glow,” says Dr. Berman. Rather than critique, she says, always start with something positive.
“Say something like ‘I love our sex life’ or ‘Last night was so great, and I was thinking it would also really turn me on if you…’” If you bring up these topics in a positive way, the conversation reflects an investment in your sex life, she says.
Hear what your partner has to say.
The conversation must be two-sided, so you’ll need to listen to and consider what your partner has to say. “Let’s say your partner is asking for more sex, and that’s an issue for you in the bedroom,” says Dr. Berman. “Try this: Say ‘I hear what you’re saying, but I want more of an ability to anticipate and plan so I can get in the mood and be prepared for a really good sexual exchange.’”